It's Been A While... I've Been Trying To Enjoy Myself...

A sizable yet acrobatic Arowana got my adrenaline rush pumping, 1st February 2009.

Back In Singapore

Touching down in the late evening on 17th November 2008, my arrival back in Singapore has been greeted by my loved ones, and I had nothing but smiles all over. My parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, my young nephew Landric, and one of my best buddies, John and his wife Phyllis, were all there at the arrival hall. All eyes were on me because I was the only dude who was holding an obtrusive (fishing ) rod holder of about 7 feet long! Not forgetting I had a luggage, a canvas duffel, and a canvas satchel. Talking about difficulties on how the heck I carried all of those stuff myself up and down the buses and trains just to get to Brisbane airport do make one wonder... I wondered to myself how I actually did it as well. I must have looked somewhat bizarrely hilarious.

I remained calm trying to look for them and then I spotted my sister waving anxiously at me. I guess it didn't take them long to locate me, or I should say, my prominent rod holder sticking out like a giraffe hanging out with a horde of zebras. The transition was rather smooth, no emotional tears, but joy and relief. They all have remarked that I've put on weight. I guess I did, but it was good and healthy weight thanks to the door ledge of my room back in Gatton, Brisbane, which I used it to do pull-ups whenever I have nothing to do. Additional lean back muscles wouldn't do one any harm anyway. I guess it's really nice to see your loved ones after some months of isolation far away in another country. Very quickly, we proceeded to have dinner together in the airport's cafeteria it was home sweet home. I couldn't wait to get home to see and hug Furbi (my pet dog), and he still looked as adorable as ever.

I was really surprised that John came because he had already told me that he couldn't make it due to work commitments. But there was a change of schedule in his work, and Phyllis was the one who actually asked and reminded him of my date of arrival. Nevertheless, it was awesome to see him and his wife waiting for me together with my family. That, to me, was priceless. It meant a lot to me and I really appreciated that.

My surface cruiser was strucked with ferocity & it's always a joy to watch a fish
crashing a topwater lure, in this case a small Giant Snakehead, 21st December 2008.

Fishing, Catching Up & All

After spending a couple of days at home, I started to do some catch-ups with my mates. Having only fished twice during my stint in Brisbane, I suffered from acute Sport Fishing Deficiency Syndrome, and it wasn't long before I started calling up my buddies to subdue this enigmatic passion of mine, of ours! Not that it can be suppressed for good and for long, of course! I figured out that I need to take this chance to fish as much as I can, because once I head back to Brisbane for my final semester, I won't even get a chance to wet my line this time round.

Yet another decent Arowana that couldn't resist my Skitter Pop, 28th November 2008.

My luck have been somewhat patchy, but I was still able to land some decent fishes. I have had done several trips of both freshwater and saltwater fishing, and surprisingly, I had pretty positive luck with topwater lures like poppers (above: Arowana on Skitter Pop) and surface cruisers. I landed my first Queenfish on a Halco Roosta Popper, though a minuscule one, it was enough to put a smile on my face.

From left: A puny Queenfish on popper; A close-up on the Queenie as it tries to free itself from the popper, 13th January 2009; Alex with Maxy, Daxson & a small yacht passing by, 27th January 2009.

My Lunar New Year was all about fishing as well. A nice reunion dinner at home with my family on the eve and a visit to my uncle's place on New Year's day itself, Dax (my cousin) and I grabbed our gears and went right off to waters. On the second day of Lunar New Year, Both Dax's dad and mine, and the both of us went for a saltwater session. Though no luck, we were still happy to be fishing and being out there in the nature. It's just really awesome.

Then there was this night when fishing for Sebaraus proved to be extremely fruitful. Within twenty minutes, I yanked out three solid-looking Sebaraus, and Daxson landed himself a Sebarau that weighed a kilo. That's a total of four Sebaraus within a third of an hour, not too bad a result considering fishing in Singapore. Sebarau fishing has always been one of my favourite, because they strike your lure so hard that if you do not hold your rod tightly, you can easily lose it to the fish. It's that scary, and certainly not for the faint-hearted! My first Sebarau that I hooked up that night reminded me again that they're really at a level of their own. Their violent strikes, and the instantaneous screaming of the reel - a classic Sebarau fight!

From left: Redhead Mag Minnow proves to be a success for Peacocks, 24th November 2008; This cruiser-fancying Giant Snakehead puts up a spectacular fight with hard pulls & a few impressive leaps that a tarpon would have been proud of, 17th December 2008.

Of course, there were days of fishing when we scored zero. But being out there in the wilderness outdoors already made our day. Just by simply trekking in the lively forest, or walking along the ever scintillating coastline with cooling sea breezes, that is pure contention. Along with excellent buddies who appreciate and love the same activities, and priceless photography of fishes, scenery, the processes of the journeys, these trips would be turned into fantastic memories that remains in us for the rest of our lives.

Many people tell me fishing is such an old man's activity. And that we're hurting the fish, and even ridiculously hilarious comments like "wouldn't you guys get dragged into the water by the fish?" First of all, if they do study or increase their awareness of the drag system technology that every reel has, then they would find themselves asking a senseless question. And furthermore, what we're doing is light sport fishing. Not any sort of hardcore big game sport fishing whereby people have to strap themselves to the seats of the boat while battling with monstrous-sized fish. That is what they perceived fishing is all about. Sometimes it's ignorance, sometimes it's lack of knowledge and exposure. Whatever it may be, to them, fishing is fishing. It's like when they hear a progressive beat, they immediately categorise it as techno. I've known, seen, and heard of many people like this. It's a shame, a pity, a disgrace. Mainstream music is what they like and what they acknowledge. I shan't rant about music and digress any further.

From left: My third Sebarau of the night on a Duel 3D Vibrating Vibe; Dax's 2.3lbs Sebarau that walloped his Duel 3D Minnow, 9th December 2008.

Fishing an old man's activity? Modern sport fishing requires fitness, passion and perseverance, all your good senses, the love for nature, a strong belief, a good imaginative mind and a conservative mentality. Sport fishing anglers who have all of these have been fighting very hard against the shameful and ignorant stereotyping from the majority of the commoners because they think everyone who fishes kill and take every god damn thing that they've caught. Catch and release is a conservative mentality, and we do that religiously. We enjoy the enigmatic joy of fishing, but we do not see the necessity to kill these fabulous creatures. Why would any bona fide angler destroy something that provides him his pure source of joy? Many of us would be happy just to wet out lines, seeing our lures swimming in the water. Being able to get a fish to strike our lures, or to even land one, is just but a bonus.

A sun-downing moment in the midst of a freshwater fishing trip with Dax, 21st December 2008.

27th February 2009 An Imminent Departure

A summer break of more than three months is a definite luxury, and I must say I've been trying very hard to just enjoy myself and take this great opportunity to do whatever I want. Money of course, is an issue and that is one of the reasons why I've been 'trying very hard' to enjoy myself. The availability of my buddies and friends is another big issue. It's perfectly understandable due to work and personal commitments. I still do get a fair share of activities with them - fishing, sun-tanning, soccer, chilling out.

Many people have asked if I should be working instead of wasting my time here in Singapore. Just to analyse a little bit, this is going to be the very last school holidays of my life, because I'm dead sure I won't be furthering my studies in pursue of a Masters Degree or even a PhD. Money is a huge issue again, and I need to start getting some income so as to realise my dreams in life. So I'm really just enjoying my last holidays, and then when I look back in the near future, I wouldn't regret not having to enjoy and relax myself as much as I could during this summer break.

27th February 2009 is going to be the day I have to return back to Brisbane to complete my final semester and then graduate in July 2009. Till then, I'm still trying to do the activities that I love. After all, it's been a while... Since I've enjoyed myself...

P.S.: All of the pictures were taken in Singapore, in case any of you actually wonder.

Noosa Heads, South East Queensland

Noosa's coastal sensation

21st July 2008
Dark shadows lurking behind my metal slice... each time I cranked faster, they crashed to the surface trying to grab my spoon skipping across the water line. Wham!!! Fish on! "Tee-Tid! Tee-Tid! Tee-Tid!"In a split second, everything was gone. The scenic atmosphere instantaneously replaced by a pitch-black layer. I struggled to open my eyes, and it took me a couple of seconds to realise that all of that was just a dream and my alarm from my cellphone had to ruin that awesome moment - though it was just a dream, with a few good size Giant Trevally bombarding my spoon...

It took me quite a while to agree to my mates the night before, who all scored distinction for persuasion, to go on a 2-day road trip to Noosa Heads, in the Sunshine Coast region of South East Queensland. The main reason for my hesitation was the 1 hour lecture on Safety and Quality Assurance on Tuesday (22/07/08), and that we would only be back on campus after dusk. In the equation, that meant I would miss my first day of school. How wrong!

"Vroom!" The engine of the car started anyway. I found myself squeezed in a small car with 4 mates of mine, with my fishing rod and my artificial lures. The primary intention of this trip is to fish. Yes, winter and it's bloody cold alright. But my fishing-titis acted up and I had to do it. It was a great day anyhow, with clear blue skies and sparsely scattered clouds to start off with.


Janice was the captain of the ship for the short initial part of the journey when she had to run some errands. Reiko took over the hot seat soon after. The start of the long ride saw us chattering away in excitement and soon, conversations died down and we were all into our own stuff, our own space. I stucked my Audiotechnica earphones into my ears, and suddenly I was in a vacuum, completely cut off from the sounds in my surroundings. Switched on my iPod Classic, scrolled to Downtempo, pressed 'play', and soon the laidback beats brought me into a little relaxing, yet mildly melancholic dimension.

It's always somewhat a soothing pleasure, to be on a long road trip, with your favourite genres of music flowing into your ears, while having the luxury to look out of the window to witness the magnificent progressions of landscapes and vast spaces. It was sort of like a country-road drive, and you would see almost infinite layers of pine trees, and other temperate and tropical perennials, rivers of various sizes, and long distant chains of mountains smacked across the horizon.

After more than 2 hours of drive, we finally entered the Noosa Heads region. We had a little trouble trying to get to Backpackers (a popular worldwide hostel). The great thing about the location of Backpackers is it's location - located just a couple of hundreds of metres away from the Noosa River. Unloaded our bags from the car, checked in, grabbed my fishing rod and bag, and off we went, hunting for food and beverages. We were absolutely famished from that long drive, with 80% of the group having missed out on breakfast. I was the only bugger who woke up early enough to make myself breakfast because I know my body too well. We had some good beef kebabs in wraps, and very quickly, I went separate ways. Their destination was the main beach and their motive(s) was to get a tan and/or to chill at the beach and read a book or something. Mine was simple - to find fish.

To waste minimal time on getting to the fishing spots, and to gain maximum fishing time (the sun sets around 17 30 hours during winter here), I ran my way there. On the sandy bay, I saw a few anglers, and they were spaced out almost evenly, respecting each other's fishing space. Most of them were old folks and couples, sitting there quietly enjoying the moment, while waiting for their baits to attract something. It was really a nice scene to be honest. I don't see such a thing happening in Singapore. In most cases, people see fishing as a dirty and 'un-cool' thing to do. But it's different here. Couples are having fun fishing, husbands and wives helping each other to put the bait on, females fishing alone and stuff. It was an entirely refreshing thing to witness. I came across this lady from Switzerland, who was fishing alone along the sandy shores, and we had a nice little conversation. She does flyfishing back home. I was utterly impressed. I mean how cool is that?! And she cheered me on when I told her I just picked up flyfishing less than a month before I came to Australia. It was downright motivating.


When you're all alone, the tripods come in place

The water was cold, and my toes soon became numbed after standing knee-deep in the chilling waters for more than an hour, combing through the long stretch of sandy shores. I saw a bridge from afar, instinctively, the pillars are structures that baitfish would primarily use them as a form of shelter from predators. Worked bloody hard to entice any possible predators nearby - switched from mid-diving minnows to deep diving crank baits, from surface poppers to shallow runners, from rubbers to metal slices. It was just dead quiet, not even a nudge on my lures. Winter would be my best guess, when fish get real lethargic. And they do not move around much to conserve energy to fight the cold. I still blame on my fouled luck anyway. Shrugs!

to be continued...

Pack Up & Go

After A Tropical Storm
I finally have the breathing space to sit down in front of my screen, feeling comfortable and relaxed enough to write again. There has been so much things going on for the past few months and there were some painful moments as well as some really nice ones...

Recognition
To the people who have read and made comments on my pervious post especially, I am somehow glad that you guys actually spent your precious time and read it, and there are actually a couple of you guys out there whom I don't know yet left comments for me. Thanks for trying to encourage me but I must admit that there were quite a few specifics that I didn't talk about (or reveal). So it's not so much about having to suck my thumb when it was time to go back into camp. I'm fine with that. However, I'm sure everyone else have got their very own private life and personal issues that matter the most, and that is what I meant (and was going through). I can not say I have resolved them entirely, but I'm more than confident that I'll get them zipped up and dusted.

Foresight
I must emphasize strongly that I'm not losing any battle, nor am I losing my vision of what I would want to do after finishing my national service. I am, in fact, very excited and very much looking forward to life after national service. I'm less than one month away from my ORD date (6th May to be exact) and my Maldives trip will be on the 11th May. It's going to be a 9-day long sport fishing expedition, registering Maldives as my first stop to my Worldwide Sport Fishing Expedition that I have had in mind for a long time.

I have also registered a place in the University of Queensland to further my expertise on my current education. The Bachelor of Applied Science (Plants) is what I'm going for, and it'll take me one year for completion. Quite an express and thus, more favourable to me. I'll be flying off in this coming July, with lots of anticipation and excitement. People tell me Queensland is boring place. Well, perhaps for the majority who want the usual entertainment and night life. To me, it's fishing paradise and a top destination for any anglers I must say! Hopefully I can spend some quality time casting lures and catching the amazingly wide variety of sport fishes there. But I'll have problems with transportation to get me deep to those remote spots and I'll also have problems taking good pictures whenever I land a fish because I'm pretty certain my future room mates wouldn't be interested in fishing and I'll be all alone whenever I fish.

Nevertheless, I'm so pleased that I'll be heading over to Australia and I'm just going to do all these worrying when I get there. So it's going to be studies and sport fishing as my two main priorities when I'm over there.

Pack Up & Go
With my national service liability coming to an end soon, and my maldives trip within reaching distance, there'll be a lot of packing up to do. And ultimately, I'll be leaving for Australia in July, so whatever that's left dangling here must be dissolved with sheer resolution. Loose ends, there will never be. The pain will obliterate, and the sun'll shine. Everything's nearing and I can smell the salt crystals of the bluewaters of Maldives. The time has come for me to pack up and go...





Acknowledgement: Courtesy of my good mate Wendy Tan who shot this picture (and edited by the author).

Shades of Grey

Today will be the last day of my break. Knowing that I have to go back tomorrow on New Year's Day for duty really killed my mood for anything. These two weeks of very much anticipated break somehow felt that it has lost it's purpose. The supposed colourful spectrum of different positive feel that I was expecting was absent, lost to the weird atmosphere I was in for all this while.

I was supposed to be having fun, doing what I love most - Sun-basking under the golden rays, exploring nature with sport fishing together with my good old mates, kicking soccer around with the usual dudes, enjoying some ice-blended strawberry daiquiri by the sea with downtempo tunes flowing seamlessly filling up the beautiful ambience. I should be relaxing my exhausted body and mind so as to regenerate a refreshed soul. And I ought to be catching up with all my loved ones, spending precious time with them. Especially my 4th uncle, Uncle Raymond, who is staying alone now.

It has been raining over a long period of time due to the year end monsoon, and I couldn't quite do any sun-basking. Had a little chill-out session a couple of weeks back or so at KM8, it was really nice with the shared warmth and the joy and hearty laughters. Those laughters, I could almost hear it at the back of my ear at this very moment of pure reminiscence. Other days? I totally have no idea what was being done. It's just unbelievably disappointing. I had so much time, yet I did so little. Everyday's just rotting and being drowned in my own emotions. People say having emotions and feelings keep a person alive. To me, it's suffocating.

Any curious soul who is reading my blog must have had wondered, "why is this blog full of bitterness and dull sorrows?' Such a melancholic continuation of events. The strange cycle of depressing moments in his life and all. I am a person with absolute sensitivity and awareness, full of feelings and emotions, lots of pride and ego. And the two personal mammoth hurdles that I am always faced with are pride and ego. A positive carefree individual would have said "hey dude, you should loosen up a bit and drop those bottles full of ego and pride and let out your emotions. No big deal right?" Those people who knows the stubborn me will expect me to stick to what I believed in. I'm sorry to have disappointed these people, because I didn't do just that. Broke those bottles of ego and pride. I have let all of my emotions out. But what was end product? Those ego and pride that spilled all over the floor turned bad instantaneously, faster than spilled milk turned sour over time. Smashing those bottles of ego and pride destroyed my character. I am a different Mervyn that people used to know. I appear worn out, spiritually drained, mentally weaken, I lost my usual zest for life.

I'm like a moving mannequin walking down this gloomy road coloured in shades of grey. And it seems the greying just gets darker...






Acknowledgement: Graphic was obtained from http://www.flickr.com/photos/ticklebug/92691019/ .

This depreciating feeling...

Somehow, there's this depressing, confusing feel to the whole thing... There's something not right... The complexity for the simplest of thoughts... My mind has been shaken, tampered...

This vulnerability, this fragility... completely dependant on faith and trust of the highest and purest delicacy. How much could one tolerate with the possible breach of faith, trust, and the comfortless feeling thrown at him every now and then. It's so difficult to handle these tense and complicated situations. Complicated because you don't know why it has to be like that. Tense because it hurts you deeply but you're supposed to handle it with a great amount of caution.

Feelings and emotions are involved and that is the worst thing. You feel like walking out so much, but you can't. Because of the emotional attachment and bond built with such strength. Those invisible strings attached lively through each and every nerve and vein. It hurts you so much but at the same time, you can only choose to accept it. Many times I asked myself, why does it has to be like that? Why do people still continue to hurt you when they know exactly the stuff they're doing would? Why am I always in such a situation? Is this god's prank or something? Or am I reeling myself into my own grave? It's bleeding, my tender, brittle heart. My mind, in a drunken stupor. My usual basic instincts lost themselves. Me? Badly disoriented in this thick dark menacing mist. These looming elusive signs - an alarm of personal crisis.

I'm losing myself...

Acknowledgement: Graphic was extracted from http://users.antrasite.be/ppoisse/Documents/Images/peinture.

The Introgression to an Unfathomable World...

Character diversity.
Undecipherable philosophies.
Genetic differences.
Individualistic preferences.
Instinctive senses 'naturally' honed.
Heterogeneous mind of its own.

A wide spectrum of events
with encompassing experiences
pondered me of the outside world...
It's a perplexed sphere in nature's will.

I couldn't hide my bewildering emotions
For they caused a burning sensation.

Acts and behaviours that formulate shocks and disbeliefs,
Disturbing contradictions and vile motives,
Dark and twisted they wickedly weaves.
Philosophies and thoughts that are impossible to comprehend.
It's of sophistication with no end.

Clouded and trapped in the misty poison,
One suffocates in abyssal intoxication.
In an infectious stupor,
Laying petrified by the tainted door.

Invisible lacerations and tears that sometimes,
can not be meliorated.
Melancholic memories that somehow,
can not be eradicated...

The infinite degree of enigma...
Those wishful hopes of personal chimera...
One can never obtain full satisfaction in the mankind era.

Unleashed My Desire

Course After Course
Ever since I commissioned from OCS, I've been going for courses. Though I get to stay-out, I got pretty sick of it. There wasn't much time to do my usual stuff as well. Feeling sulky, I couldn't deny. Finally, I get to return to my unit next Monday, to take a little short break from more courses coming up.

Quite A Weekend
Wanted to go tanning but the weather disappointed the sunshine people. The rainy weather somehow gave a dreamy and lazy feeling. Lazing at home was the easy way out, but I felt a stint of nostalgia. I haven't wet my fishing line for a really long time, so I thought it was time to do what I love most. Picked up the phone, and dialled a couple of my kakis, and off we went. It's jungle fishing, one of which I totally dig into it. The wilderness and serenity of the ambience was priceless. Especially after showers, the greens glossed with impeccable radiance. It was absolutely brilliant! I just felt so good while trekking in, listening to the wonderful sound of nature, and breathing in the freshest of air.

First Fish For My New Camera
For every cast I made, I retrieved my lure with great anticipation of any aggressive bugger who couldn't resist the enticing swimming action of the Duel 3D Minnow. I made countless casts, and it seemed so effortless, because it was so relaxing appreciating the brilliant atmosphere. As dusk fell, the silhouette of the lush surroundings contrasted against the reddish-grey sky with great artistry.

I didn't have to wait too long when a feisty Sebarau (aka Malaysian Jungle Perch) striked my lure with gusto and full commitment. Known for its aggressiveness and sudden strikes, this Sebarau gave nothing short of a thrilling fight, pulling hard and defying physics. Once the fish was up, out came the camera and after a few quick clicks, I released the fish safely back into the deep. The satisfaction of seeing a fish being released unharmed and back into the deep was as refreshing as ever.

Rainy Sunday
Woke up and the sunlight shining through my windows was promising, so I packed my stuff and headed for soccer with my mates. Rain came pouring after a couple of matches, and we were all running for shelter. I was like 'Aw man, it just couldn't get more disappointing than this!'

We waited and soon after, there weren't anymore raindrops, so we starting kicking the ball again. It was wet and slippery, but helluva fun! We were laughing and all, people slipping and falling. It was nice to see everyone enjoying and laughing. A second wave of rainfall came and we decided to call it a day.

It was quite a weekend, comparing to the many dull previous ones. I must be smiling, am I? ~Laughs~