Signs of Burn-out...

It's been about a month, since I came back from Brunei. And ever since then, I haven't been able to sleep well. It's funny. I know I am tired. I could feel it. My body's exhausted. My mind's lost its usual sharpness. My soul's drained up...

Ironically, after a long hard day on every occasion, I would lay on the pillow and expect to get a good sleep. But all I experienced was a light shallow sleep with a series of awakenings in a sub-conscious state. It's bizarre. I got not freaking clue at all.

2 more weeks to Commissioning, and after that, I hope time would be on my side a little more. I really wish that I could resume my usual activities and lifestyle. At least a little bit of an improvement? Perhaps, that would sharpen my instincts and get me back to normal.

A lot of people have been telling me that I looked tired and all that kind of stuff when they see me, and I'll be like, "Oh, really?". Sub-consciously, I know that I'm physically and mentally drained. But I'll still appear to be rather surprised when people tells me that. My daily performances somewhat showed my weariness. Gosh, it's frustrating, and I know I have to overcome this with my inner-strength deep within my frame. How much rest do I need? And when I get to rest, can I really rest well? Having not able to sleep well for a freaking month has already taken its toll.

After commissioning, I still got to worry about the resumption of treatment for my back injury. It's in a dormant state right now, and I have some painkillers to suppress any malice from the injury. It has really been like a free, uninvited, never-ending roller-coaster ride floating on an abyss with no buckle and that I got to hold on to it. Letting off the grip would be seem catastrophic, but I was so tempted to do at times...

Perhaps these are really the signs of burn-out... ~Shrugs~